Rejection - Part 2, It's Not That Bad

Actually, rejection is both normal and understandable.

Here's why people reject:

1) They don't have what you want.

For example, someone asks for a job, but the company is fully staffed. Or someone asks for a raise, but the the payroll budget has been set.

Note: There are also ordinary life examples, involving requests for everything from borrowing a lawn mower to helping move furniture.  

Better: Conduct research to determine if the other party has what you want.

2) They don't need what you offer.

For example, a company may need someone to work in human resources, but they don't need someone to test new software. Or someone just bought a new copy machine, and thus does not need another one.

Better: Conduct research to determine needs before submitting a proposal.

3) They don't understand your request.

That is, they may interpret your request (or offer) as something very different from what you intend. In such cases, you are effectively speaking different languages.

Better: Use dialogue to understand the other person's vocabulary so that you can present your request in their terms.

4) They don't trust that you can deliver.

That is, they may misunderstand or underestimate your abilities. Or (worse) they may know that you would be unable to meet their needs.

Let's recognize that "abilities" includes a wide spectrum of possibilities including ethics.

Better: First, use dialogue to understand the other person's expectations. Then, if trust seems to be the obstacle, use respectful questions to determine the gap between your ability and their expectations. Third, seek ways to prove that you can be trusted to deliver what you are offering.

5) They have obstacles to resolve.

In this case, the other person might want to accept your request, but is unable to do so. Their reasons could be real (e.g., no money), arbitrary (e.g., their policy), imaginary (e.g., fear). Sometimes people will invent obstacles to mask one of the above four situations.

Better: Use dialogue to understand what obstacles exist. If appropriate, find solutions that resolve them.

Key Point: Every transaction involves two sides. Use dialogue to understand the other side and thus minimize rejection.

Much success,

Steve Kaye

714-528-1300

Author, Speaker, IAF Certified Professional Facilitator

PS: This is part 2 of 3 articles about Rejection. The first one appeared yesterday. Come back tomorrow for the next one.