Leadership Solutions

Rewarding Idiots

Wednesday I was waiting in line at the grocery store, reading the titles on tabloids and popular magazines.

And I felt very disappointed.

All of the people who were featured on those pages are successful. Or at least they have succeeded in collecting huge amounts of money, fame, and power.

But they are also doing unbelievably stupid things.

They cheat, they steal, they lie -- and then they build upon this infamy by writing best selling books or touring the world as speakers.

Amazing!

You would expect that being unethical, uninformed, and (yes) stupid would result in being rejected by society instead of being put on a stage to brag about it.

So I have a radical proposition.

How about if we reward the people who live decent lives.

We could hire the people who are working to build a better future for humanity. Or we could buy books written by the people who wrote them. Or we could use speakers who live the message that they talk about.

I realize that most of these people are unknown. So they won't cause the carnival type of sideshow attraction created by the people in the tabloids.

But these decent people can show others how to achieve real success using real techniques that really work.

Want to talk to one of them? Call me.

Key Point: We encourage what we reward.

Much success,

Steve Kaye

714-528-1300

Author, Speaker, IAF Certified Professional Facilitator

Rejection - Part 3, Minimizing It

If rejection exists and is normal, how can you minimize it?

Here are some possibilities.

1) Know your market.

Describe the person (or company) that can use what you offer. This begins by identifying a problem that you can solve. Then, make sure that they can afford your solution, want your solution, and would use your solution.

2) Accept yourself.

You must believe that you have the best possible solution for the other person. If you doubt this, then you need to either change yourself appraisal or improve your offering.

A lack of commitment will appear in your tone of voice, choice of words, and general enthusiasm. Then the other person will sense something is wrong, and decline.

3) Detach.

This is so contrary that it's illogical. You must believe that you don't care whether the other person accepts your request, even if you desperately want an acceptance.

Desperation will cause you to rush through the dialogue that builds trust and understands needs. It will cause you to force ideas. It will cause you to make mistakes. All of this ultimately reduces the likelihood of receiving an acceptance.

4) Go to School.

Use every request as the beginning of a new learning experience. Note how well your dialogue proceeded, the way the other person reacted, and the results that you obtained.

In some cases, you may want to ask the other person for feedback on how well you did. Then listen with gratitude, rather than an attempt to argue.

5) Change Sides.

Prepare by imagining that you are the other person. Then consider if you would respond to your request. That is, would you buy it? Be fiercely candid in answering this.

Recognize that the other person is like you, someone with a complex collection of needs and constraints. They want to be treated with respect. And they hate being tricked with manipulations.

Key Point: All agreements are built upon a foundation of trust.

Much success,

Steve Kaye

714-528-1300

Author, Speaker, IAF Certified Professional Facilitator

PS: This is part 3 of 3 articles about Rejection. The other two appeared on Tuesday and Wednesday.

Rejection - Part 2, It's Not That Bad

Actually, rejection is both normal and understandable.

Here's why people reject:

1) They don't have what you want.

For example, someone asks for a job, but the company is fully staffed. Or someone asks for a raise, but the the payroll budget has been set.

Note: There are also ordinary life examples, involving requests for everything from borrowing a lawn mower to helping move furniture.  

Better: Conduct research to determine if the other party has what you want.

2) They don't need what you offer.

For example, a company may need someone to work in human resources, but they don't need someone to test new software. Or someone just bought a new copy machine, and thus does not need another one.

Better: Conduct research to determine needs before submitting a proposal.

3) They don't understand your request.

That is, they may interpret your request (or offer) as something very different from what you intend. In such cases, you are effectively speaking different languages.

Better: Use dialogue to understand the other person's vocabulary so that you can present your request in their terms.

4) They don't trust that you can deliver.

That is, they may misunderstand or underestimate your abilities. Or (worse) they may know that you would be unable to meet their needs.

Let's recognize that "abilities" includes a wide spectrum of possibilities including ethics.

Better: First, use dialogue to understand the other person's expectations. Then, if trust seems to be the obstacle, use respectful questions to determine the gap between your ability and their expectations. Third, seek ways to prove that you can be trusted to deliver what you are offering.

5) They have obstacles to resolve.

In this case, the other person might want to accept your request, but is unable to do so. Their reasons could be real (e.g., no money), arbitrary (e.g., their policy), imaginary (e.g., fear). Sometimes people will invent obstacles to mask one of the above four situations.

Better: Use dialogue to understand what obstacles exist. If appropriate, find solutions that resolve them.

Key Point: Every transaction involves two sides. Use dialogue to understand the other side and thus minimize rejection.

Much success,

Steve Kaye

714-528-1300

Author, Speaker, IAF Certified Professional Facilitator

PS: This is part 2 of 3 articles about Rejection. The first one appeared yesterday. Come back tomorrow for the next one.

The Truth About Rejection

Rejection is like failure.

Both are unavoidable.

We can either earn rejection by asking for what we want. Or we can choose rejection by doing nothing.

There are notable benefits in taking the first option. If we ask for what we want:

1) We will learn how to ask for things we want in ways that increase our chances of receiving an acceptance. So, risking rejection ultimately leads to less rejection.

2) We will eventually receive what we ask for. True, it may require many requests. But eventually, someone will say "Yes."

3) Some people will help you find better ways to ask. For example, I received two pages of ideas on how to promote my workshops from someone who "rejected" an offer that I had made a couple of months ago. [ Thank you! ]

On the other hand, choosing rejection begins at home. That is, if you do nothing, you are actually rejecting yourself. That's bad because self rejection teaches nothing, earns nothing, and lasts forever.

So here is a friendly nudge to ask for what you want.

Then pay attention to the responses that you receive. Use these as learning experiences to improve your ability to ask.

Key Point: Achieve success by seeking rejection.

Much success,

Steve Kaye

714-528-1300

Author, Speaker, IAF Certified Professional Facilitator

PS: My workshops are so good that they're hard to reject.

No Other Choice

If you were going to Gallup New Mexico, which rental car company would you use?

If it were me, there is only one answer to that question: Budget.

Here's why, which begins with a small back story.

We like to visit places in the Southwest, such as Mesa Verde, Canyon de Chelly, and Arches National Park.
 

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Delicate Arch, in Arches National Park. See more photos at Imagekind.

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Since we live in Southern California, it's a two-day drive to that part of the Southwest.

So, rather than drive, we'll ride Amtrak. In the evening we board the Southwest Chief in Fullerton, CA. While the miles roll under us, we enjoy dinner, a night's sleep, and breakfast. It's very comfortable.

The next morning we arrive at the Amtrak station in Gallup, NM., refreshed and ready to tour. 

Now enter Linda.

She will drive (or send someone) from her office to pick us up. Then after our trip, she will drive us back to the train station.

So that's why we use Budget when we're in Gallup. It's because of one person, who provides extraordinary service.

Now how about you? Are you making it easy for people to conduct business with you? Are finding ways to support clients - both internal and external - so that everyone benefits?
 

Key Point: Service is the key that opens the way to business.

Much success,

Steve Kaye

714-528-1300

Author, Speaker, IAF Certified Professional Facilitator

Warning: Large Birds

It's 2015 and something horrible is happening.

Thanks to a bioengineering experiment that misfired**, the skies are now filled with large birds.

Really large birds.

And they prey on people who use cell phones in public.

Scientists speculate that they're attracted to the inane blather of most cell phone conversations. So they swoop down and carry off the cell phone user.

On one hand, this is good news.

There has been a sudden (and welcomed) decrease in public cell phone conversations. Now ordinary citizens are freed from having to listen to:

• Parents yelling at their children

• Business people explaining mistakes

• Teenagers speaking in partial sentences

And similar nuisance distractions.

It's even expected that long term elimination of such irritations will result in a measurable increase in the public's IQ.

On the other hand, be warned.

If you attempt to hold a cell phone conversation in public, you are now at risk of being carried off by a large bird to a remote mountain top with no cell phone access. No one has yet returned.

** Note: It's rumored that this infamous bioengineering experiment was actually funded by citizens who became fed up with public cell phone calls.

Key Point: Your conversations are a private exchange of ideas. No one wants to hear them. Really.

Much success,

Steve Kaye

714-528-1300

Author, Speaker, IAF Certified Professional Facilitator

PS: My program on Communication Skills stresses respectful communication.

There's Still Time

Here are two Good News Items.

1) Sunshine is forecast for Saturday, January 23. This means that once again it will be safe to go outside in Orange County, CA.

2) There is still time to register for my workshop on January 23.

Here are the details:

Topic: Time Management Uncovered.

Description: We'll replace popular myths about Time Management with powerful strategies. Then we'll give you practical tools that you can use to make your life a masterpiece.

Time: January 23, 2010 from 10:00 AM until noon.

Location: The Road Less Traveled Store http://www.roadlesstraveledstore.com

Address: 2204 North Main Street, Santa Ana, CA 92706 [ Map ]

Reservations: Call 714-836-8727

Cost: $25 ( a genuine bargain ). Call today.

Bonus: Visit the Road Less Traveled Store, which features an unusual collection of Fair Trade and Organic products. You'll be amazed!

Key Point: This is a rare public program by Steve Kaye. Be sure to attend.

Much success,

Steve Kaye

714-528-1300

Author, Speaker, IAF Certified Professional Facilitator

How Hard Do You Work? Part 2

Yesterday we presented the dilemma of working too hard.

Yet, sometimes hard work is necessary.

Here's how to manage it (whether as a leader or as an individual).

1) Acknowledge Reality.

If you're in charge, tell everyone that they will be expected to work hard. This sets clear expectations for the immediate future. As an individual, acknowledge that you are about to engage in an intense effort. Then tell others who might be affected this.

2) Ask for Commitment.

That is, ask for everyone's support. Gain their agreement that they will support the extraordinary effort ahead. As an individual, make a agreement with yourself that you will devote the effort necessary. And recognize that you may need to renew this commitment when progress becomes uncertain or obstacles appear.

3) Be Reasonable.

Recall the bell curve shown yesterday. Your goal is to achieve as much advantage as possible without falling down to the low end of the curve. As an individual, monitor the return on investment for your extra effort. Then make adjustments, slowing down if needed.

4) Take Holidays.

In this case, holidays may be brief, such as ten-minute, breaks. Or take occasional, deliberate departures from the intense schedule. For example, you might take a day off or send everyone home at noon. As an individual, you may pause to take a brisk walk outside or simply close your eyes for a two-minute nap.

5) Manage Focus.

During a time of intense effort, it's important to make sure that all of the hard work is spent on critical tasks. Thus, extra attention must be given to identifying and honoring priorities. As an individual, you must be fiercely protective of your time, resisting distractions.

6) Provide Rewards.

While rewards matter even during good times, they become critically important during periods of hard work. Thus, be positive, acknowledge people's efforts, and offer praise. As an individual, take brief breaks to recognize and commend how much you have done.

7) Stop When It's Over.

Hard work is a temporary solution. Thus, return to a normal routine once the special event has passed. Otherwise, everything degrades because of high turnover (people quit) or stress (your body quits).

Key Point: Work hard strategically. After all, it's a business, not a panic driven stampede.

Much success,

Steve Kaye

714-528-1300

Author, Speaker, IAF Certified Professional Facilitator

PS: My workshop on Time Management shows how to work smart.

How Hard Do You Work? Part 1

We have all been encouraged to "work hard." Yet this popular strategy for achieving success may cause more problems than it fixes.

Here's why: Your work intensity follows a bell curve.

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Certainly, your goal is to optimize your performance so that you can maximize your results. And you achieve this by working neither too hard nor too little.

I realize this may be counter to what many leaders are urging their staff to do. It may also be counter to the routine you have put yourself on.

Hard work can produce less because of:

1) Fatigue.

Your body and mind wear out. As a result, their ability to perform declines. In turn, you become less creative, less agile, and less effective. Then it actually takes longer (with more effort) to achieve the results you were able to obtain when you were rested.

2) Excess.

Working hard often pushes people into shortcuts, omissions, and mistakes. All of these cause damage, which reduces efficiency. Then additional effort must be spent dealing with consequences, apologies, and repairs.

3) Rejection.

Extreme hard work quickly becomes bizarre. People move so fast, push so hard, and demand so much that they scare others. As a result, those who could help, now avoid the person who now seems to be a threat. Then the hard working individual becomes an Effort of One. While this may seem heroic, it's useless. Every success comes from a team effort.

This brings us to a dilemma: Sometimes we must work hard. For example, we may uncover an opportunity or we may encounter an emergency. Then working hard is the only appropriate response.

In such cases, the key is to work hard strategically.

I'll offer ideas on how to do that tomorrow.

Key Point: Working too hard can be as destructive as being lazy.

Much success,

Steve Kaye

714-528-1300

Author, Speaker, IAF Certified Professional Facilitator

PS: My workshop on Time Management shows how to work smart.

Critical Question About Time

What do you do with time?

Your answer matters because it defines your overall strategy for life. This strategy translates into the choices that you make. And in turn, these choices become the results that you obtain.

So, what do you do?

Do you spend time? Use time? Endure time? Waste time? (Notice that the options are decreasing in utility.) 

What's your answer?

The best approach is to invest time.

That is, engage in activities that will accumulate or combine to create larger results in the future.

This approach is analogous to investing money. Rather than spend everything, wise people invest some of what they earn. That way, their wealth increases.

My January 2010 newsletter shows key areas of life where this strategy can be applied.

You'll find the complete newsletter at: January 2010

And you can subscribe at: www.stevekaye.com

Key Point: Your success comes from how you invest time.

Much success,

Steve Kaye

714-528-1300

Author, Speaker, IAF Certified Professional Facilitator

PS: My workshop on Time Management shows how to invest time.